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July 15 More Real Estate Advertising goofs!Here's another segment in my overbundant supply of goofs by Real Estate agents describing their listings. These goofs have actually appeared on the Multilistings. Read these and scroll the blog entries through for even more!
This was regarding a house built in 2003:
"Completely updated kitchen"
What could you possibly have to do to update a 2003 kitchen? Have they invented new things in the last five years?
"...has very nise cerbeapel"
Didn't even know people cared about Cerbeapel? I think we're going for "curb appeal?"
"..specious...equidistant...buildong"
But no cerbeapel? Come back for more!
April 15 More What were they thinking?Here are more advertising goofs by real estate agents writing copy for the MLS (note, I am NOT including my own
 )"Larve family room"
Because I want my insects to be comfortable, too!
"Dog on side of house"
It's easier to find the house, instead of using an address or stupid Real Estate sign
"...toilet behind the house."
Because when the toilet is in the front yard, it's a harder sell
"...supper high fence."
The breakfast high fence was just too low
"Go size garage."
and a Stop size house?
"Completely repaired by the bank"
Banks need tellers who can count money AND lay carpet!
"Nower carpet"
As opposed to the 'thener" shag.
"Missing kitchen and some interior walls"
Let's call a lumber alert!
"Gleaming hardware floors."
right underneath the bed of nails.
"Great neahborhood to raise your kids..."
yeah, if you don't care if they can spell.
"Kitchen, living room and dinging room..."
So Quasimoto can come by and ring his bells?
"Bach and one 1-bedroom."
For those who prefer Classical to go to sleep.
Scroll down for MORE in my continuing list!
January 03 More: What were they thinking?!?More in my ongoing series of goofs by real estate agents when advertising property. I just take them out of the Multi-listings System!
"Is located on the boarder line of Lakewood and Bellflower"
Little know fact: if you have an extra room, there are people lining up between Lakewood and Bellflower who want to rent.
"Mostly tiled in wet areas."
1. Not a big fan of wet areas in a house. 2. We'll just tile most of them? You'll have to step around the rest?!
"Upgrades plumming."
We weren't happy with our regular plums, so we planted a larger tree.
"Bring your buyers"
I hate when I'm showing property to clients and I forget to bring them!
"Partially upgraded windows."
They only put in one pane of the dual-paned windows.
"2 Bathroom dinner area."
Just in case 1-bathroom in the dinner area isn't enough...
"Bedroom, bath and kitchen...in garage."
So when you get home, you don't even have to go INTO the house.
There's several more entries further down in the blog --- scroll through for more fun.
Also, check out the one's I pulled from Jay Leno's Tonight Show "headlines" -- I couldn't resist adding my own comments! Click on the photo album to the right...
September 21 Early holiday gift ideas!My The Lighter Side catalog came in the mail yesterday. The family and I usually howl over the T-Shirts because they always seem to "fit" someone we know.
There's lots of cool, "off-beat" ideas for gifts, too. Since I'm going to give you a brief preview of the T-shirt wisdom they sell -- here's the website, if you want to go there and shop!
On the T-Shirts:
"Hi I.Q"
"I'm not bossy. I just know what everyone else is supposed to be doing"
(The funny thing about this T-Shirt is that I bought one and it was laying out on the table before I wrapped it... The oldest daughter and spouse accused me of buying it for them? Guilty conscious? I think so!)
"If I can't fix it, screw it"
"I'm not here to make things better. I'm just here to observe and pass judgment"
(I know some people who should have that one!!! but I won't be buying them gifts!)
"Even if the voices aren't real, they have some pretty good ideas"
"I wish my mouth had a backspace key"
"Stressed spelled backwards is dessert"
"Change is good. You go first"
"They told me I was gulliable and I believed them"
"Madness takes it's toll, please have exact change"
Here's one I wrote for my older son:
"I'm not lost. Somebody must have moved where I was going"
Click on the photos below for the T-Shirts that HAD to be viewed for optimum effect!
May 06 Even more What were they thinking?Even more in the continuing excerpts of advertising "goofs" by real estate marketing professionals...the following were actually published on the multi-listing sytems!
"Newer stucco outside."
The interior stucco must be ten years old.
"This home features two stores."
I hope one's a Ralphs.
"This is a home you're clients have to walk around..."
I'm thinking no doors?
"Tastely remodeled."
So what would that be? Flavored decor?
If you're new to the blog, please scroll down for more installments of What were they thinking! April 13 MORE What were they thinking!Once again, the following was taken off actual MLS listings, written by real estate agents advertising homes.
"Kitchen in house..."
...hope the bathrooms and bedrooms are, too.
"2-car garage conveniently located near transportation and shopping..."
You want your garage conveniently located near trasnportation, just in case your car wants to take a bus."
"Remodeled with parket floors."
I guess if you can "park" on your floors you don't need that conveniently located garage?
"2-bedrooms/0-baths."
tough sell, most people want 3-bedrooms?
"All working windows and slider are double paned."
The non-working windows are whatever.
"Nice curve appeal."
This perhaps is my favorite... we realtors are supposed to know our own "jargon" at least. It's curb appeal. The house looks great from the street. I'm thinking this Realtor might have lower the "curve" on our ability to look competant!
April 02 MORE What were they thinking...Once again, I pulled these off actual Multilisting System descriptions. These Realtors are trying to sell this home!?
"This condo will be especially appealing for those who love...flooring, window treatments, light fixtures and paint."
How about doors and bathrooms, are you going to throw those in, too?
"New title floors"
And that would be under the TABLE of contents?
"Permitted beam ceiling."
Yes, we can't vouch for the rest of the house but the ceiling was permitted!
"China cabinet in bathroom."
Well, you always want to have the good silver close by for emergencies... March 26 What were they thinking?The following were actually published on the Multi-listing Systems by Realtors who are trying to sell houses!
“Tenant is elderly, talkative, and a complainer.” (that makes me want to go take a look)
"dual pained windows..." (the window wasn't hurt just once!) “CURRENTLY PERMITTED AS A FOLLY...” (can you get a home loan on that?) “21th” (Yes, someone hired them to negotiate large sums of money) “Owners are moving.” (not so good when you buy a house and they stay) Unit has “balony” (buyers bring the bread and mustard) |
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